rally legs!

for a long time now, i've accepted the fact that i am going to be single forever. there are times when this has made me sad, or angry, and times when i have enjoyed the freedom in it.
what i realize now, however, is that i probably will not be. i am kind of a kickass girl, and at some point, i will finally meet an equally kickass dude, and we will hang out, listening to the misfits, baking pies, and doing the nasty.
so here's the thing. if you would like to be considered for the role of my kickass dude, there are certain things you will have to deal with. they're not unreasonable, and it will be more than worth it to be in my company. one of the most important things you will have to learn to live with is RALLY LEGS!
i am kind of a big sports fan. especially baseball, namely the boston red sox. while it is not imperative that you be a sports fan, you must be able to understand my fanaticism. you are not required to watch baseball with me, but you may not give me any shit about my watching it. i am not to be disturbed during any games except in an emergency, and in the postseason, don't bother me at all. the postseason is generally where RALLY LEGS! come into play.
during the 2004 alcs, when my beloved red sox were down 3 games to 0, for no particular reason, the day of game 4, i didn't shave my legs. if we had lost that game, we would've been done and the evil yankees would've gone to the world series. well, many extra innings, much nailbiting, and we won. we stayed in it. red sox fans are known for being painfully optimistic, and very superstitious. so, it was clear to me that my leg stubble had something to do with us winning, and therefore i did not shave my legs for the rest of the alcs. we won, we went to the world series. swept the cardinals in 4 games, during which i also had wookie legs. my disgustingly fuzzy legs helped break an 86 year curse. every year since, when the sox are down, the razor is abandoned, and it generally seems to help.
so, if you are man enough to deal with RALLY LEGS!, then maybe you are man enough to deal with me. and because i am a nice person, i will generally invest in cute knee socks during times where RALLY LEGS! are necessary so you don't actually have to touch them.

*none of this applies to yankee fans, as i will never ever touch you.